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~ I'm for real.. I never pose.. I say what I feel ~
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Thursday, February 25, 2010

My Dear Bebot..

My Dear Bebot, (aku kene tuka name ko sbb nnti org tau ko sape).
I dont know where to start.. It's so freakingly scary to find out that we share the same story. Honestly, it hurts so bad to see u this way. I know exactly how u feel. I've been there n done that. Aku xtau nak suggest ape. Things are easier said than done. Org2 yg merase je tau feelings tu.

My Dear Bebot,
U've seen how i chose a different path, and how i learned the hardest way of how to walk thru it. I'm still walking thru it. I'm not sure whether u would want the same. Believe me, it sucks. I know u've come to a crossroad and dont know which path u wanna choose. Others would tell u to trust ur heart. But u have to decide of what u NEED.. not what u WANT.

My Dear Bebot,
Whatever path u choose, u know u're gonna have to pay for the other path that u're neglecting. It's gonna hurt for a while.. (well.. it may take longer). But, i can assure u, that we both are gonna find ways to walk out of it.

My Dear Bebot,
I took a pledge that i'll stick around with u..and here i am pledging the same thing. Now look, i cant help u to decide. But, no matter what ur decision is, i promise i'll be there for u. U'll always have me to confide in..

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Ni ape gaduh2 ni?

Saye perasan lately ni ramai plak dok bergaduh2 kat blog ni.. Cukup2 la tu.. Kat sini saye nak menyelesaikan segale kekeliruan yg ade..

yg pertame skali utk GOJENG.. cukup2 la. Maaf saye nyatekan di sini, saye agak rimas dgn anda. I need my own space. Tlg jgn langkah sempadan antara saye dgn anda. Sometimes, anda cube nak ambik tahu ape yg x sepatutnye anda tahu. Dan bile saye xnak bgtau, anda seolah2 xpaham atau buat2 x paham.. Anda tetap akan bertanyekan bende yg serupe tapi dlm bentuk yg lain. Lagi skali saye nyatekan di sini.. SAYE TIDAK BERMINAT UTK BERTUKAR2 NOMBOR TELEFON DGN ANDA. and that's it.

Utk BUBU @ CAPRI @ AMIE.. saye selesa berkawan dgn anda. xkire mcm mane pon perangai anda. sbb saye terime anda seadenye.. tapi tlg jage perasaan org2 lain yg melawat blog ni.Kalau anda rase saket hati dgn teguran2 mereke, diamkan diri. Jgn cpt melenting. Dan xpayah berbalas2 kate2 yg x best.

Utk segale2 ANONYMOUS..  (banyak anony ni).. Kalau anda betol2 jujur dlm meberi pendapat dan teguran, gune la name sendiri. Saye terime semue teguran dgn hati terbuke. Tapi perbuatan sesetengah dprd anda2 ni ibarat BALING BATU, SEMBUNYI tangan. tapi xpe. saye terime BATU yg anda baling tu sebagai SEDEKAH.

owhh.. lagi satu.. saye rase ade ANONY yg keliru mengatakan BUBU @ AMIE @ CAPRI  itu Lapis11 @ CAPRIZ. Anda dah tersilap org. CAPRI dan CAPRIZ are TWO totally different individuals. Please take note. dan saye rase Lapis tu xkan mencarut2 pon dlm ni.

utk lagi sorang KAK ANONY.. terime kasih atas teguran anda. utk pengetahuan akak, saye x kisah pon sape2 panggil saye dgn name saye. x perlu ade gelaran 'kakak'. Asalkan die X KURANG AJAR, saye dah cukup selesa. Ape gune kalau dok panggil kak ke ape, tapi BIADAP. lagi skali terime kasih atas teguran2 akak yg saye anggap sgt bernas.

Dan kepade yg lain2.. kalau anda ade perasaan x puas hati, simpan je rase itu. Saye  X BERMINAT utk melayan segale2 pertelingkahan yg berlaku di antara anda2 semua. Kalau anda masih nak berperang, SILE CARI TEMPAT LAIN di mane anda boleh memaki hamun sesame anda.

mungkin ade antare anda yg x pernah bace tentang ini di blog saye.. tapi di sini lagi skali saye nyatekan saye menulis blog ini semate2 utk mengingatkan diri sendiri tentang SIAPA SAYE SEBENARNYE. X pernah ade niat di hati utk MENUNJUK2 atau BERBANGGE diri dgn kewujudan blog ini.

Jika anda2 tidak bersetuju dgn pendapat saye, saye mintak maaf. Dan bende ni berakhir di sini. SAYE TAK AKAN MELAYAN ape2 pendapat pon berkenaan hal ini.

Kepade anda2 yg kurang mengenali saye dan rakan2 TERDEKAT, please keep your distance. SIAPE ANDA UTK JUDGE SAYE DAN RAKAN2 SAYE?

HAMEKKK.. SKEMA KAN BAHASE AKU?

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Sayang, Please Come Back Home..

Hahaha.. Aku x leh sebut name ko kat sini. Mainly, sbb aku xnak org tau ko sape.. Takot org tau agenda2 tersembunyi kite.. and yg paling aku takot, org ingat aku songsang. Kakaka.. Balek cpt skit boleh x? Aku x saba dah nak bemesrew dgn ko..Gile hipokrit kan aku?

Ape2 pon, secepat mungkin aku gegarrrrr.. Be ready for me sayang.. wurff!!! kakakaa..

Friday, February 12, 2010

Aku Yang Gatal Dan Miang!!

Haha.. takot x tgk statement aku? Bukan GATAL dan MIANG yg gitu2 la.. Aku kene allergy amende ntah ni.. Tetibe je 1 badan gatal2.. Cam kene gigit nyamok. Tapi beso2.. huhu.. Dah mcm beruk dah aku kat opis ni dok tergaru2..

Jenuh dah aku pikir2.. Nak kate aku merayap, xde plak. Must be something i ate.. Huhu.. tulunnn.. tgk gamba kat bawah ni.. Imagine this thing being on my whole body. Demit la.. Mmg harus la aku gi klinik. Kene amik shot.. Konpem kene cucuk kat bontot. Bontot pon bontot la. Janji kegatalan dan kemiangan aku hilang!

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Shim's Bachelorette Party

Congratulations Shim! I know the girls are trying to scare u with the bad visions of married life. But screw them. U love him so much, and we're so damn happy for u..  Those bad asses don't realize what they're missing.. (including me. hehe)..



Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Moving On

Cehh.. cam tajuk buku text skulah rendah plak. Whatever it is.. i think this is exactly i NEED to do. Holding on to this heartache is leading me nowhere. I'm still stuck between false hope and reality. To some, holding on makes us stronger. But sometimes, it's letting go.

Now, i'm not gonna lie. This has been hurting me like hell. Still does. I'm trying to find ways to get the hell out of this. If this is what u have to pay for being nice, then why bothering being nice at all? I don't know if one ever deserves a pain like this.. but i'm embracing it ALL at once.

I seriously don't know what's going on. Still trying to figure out. But i guess my time is up. I have to learn to move on. It might take forever, but i'm willing to take any possibilities there are. I don't mind walking around with the scars. That's who i really am..

I have to be honest, i cant stop thinking of what i've done wrong. Have i ever hurt a person like i'm being hurt now? If i ever did, i don't think i'd be able to forgive myself. How could i be so COLD HEARTED and CRUEL? I don't even dare to think about it. It'll hurt me more. I just hope, i wont ever have to play that part
anymore.

I know we only look at what we wanna see.. Listen to only what we wanna hear till we tend to forget what else is important. Shutting out the rest of the world. Curse me for being that person.

To Shelley, i think u're right. Maybe Allah is preparing me for something better. I hope so. If this is what it takes for me to learn to be stronger, then i'll walk on this path. Be good or bad..

To Mas Baizura, u really amaze me. I didn't know u once led this path. Believe me, if i did, i would've been there with u all along. I'm sorry i didn't. I was too busy being selfish. Maybe u're right. This is not what i deserve, but it's more like a lesson i shall learn. Something i SHALL NOT DO to others. I think u're right. Maybe I haven't tried hard enough. Thank u for making me see things from different views. Somehow i feel like u're the missing puzzle. Let start with our dance class soon, shall we?

To Alfie, ur words were harsh. But i know u were trying to make me feel better and most important, being brutally honest. I'm thankful to have met someone like u. Maybe this is not bad after all. Thank u for being there.

Adam, this is something u should learn. Hehe.. i'm not trying to scare u. But please.. think about the consequences. And thank u for being such a GREAT friend.

Baizura Sabri, i should've listened to u. U were right all along. I created an opportunity for this mess. If there's a one person who should keep me on the ground, it's u.

Putra, i know u hate me for being this way. I can't thank u enough. U're being such a good friend. Checking on me every single day..and i'm so thankful for u.

Aryana, i wonder how could a girl as young as u are could offer such advice.

Enji n Alin, thank u for being good listeners. Jom karok!

Abg Mike, pray for me. U're being such a good big  brother. It's good to know that u're around to keep me on the ground.

To everyone else who was being there all along, (still being there) i swear i cant thank u enough. My prayers are always with u.

To myself..this is the time for repentance. I pray for the courage to grow and the faith to know that this will eventually be turned to a good thing after all..

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Nak Sgt Kurus Kan?? Hamekkk!!


Nak sgt kurus.. i asked for it. But it happens in undesirable way. 4 hari dok hospital rase cam dok nerake okeyh. Siyesli mase aku start demam, aku rase mcm mase aku dah sampai je. Dah la x leh bangun, breathing pon x stabil.. Last2, kene masuk spital..

Thanx to Mak Long, Pak Long, Makchu, Abg Man, Aunty Julie, Uncle Tim, Zura, Iwan, Intan and Alfie for dropping by. A million thanx to Mr. Yus for being there ALL the time. Thanx Putra, Abg Mike, Afiq, Adam, Jura, Rini, Wanie, Eja and EVERYONE else for the endless phone calls and text messages to keep me BUSY! U guys know how much u mean to me.. And thanx to everyone else that helped me thru..