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Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Moving On

Cehh.. cam tajuk buku text skulah rendah plak. Whatever it is.. i think this is exactly i NEED to do. Holding on to this heartache is leading me nowhere. I'm still stuck between false hope and reality. To some, holding on makes us stronger. But sometimes, it's letting go.

Now, i'm not gonna lie. This has been hurting me like hell. Still does. I'm trying to find ways to get the hell out of this. If this is what u have to pay for being nice, then why bothering being nice at all? I don't know if one ever deserves a pain like this.. but i'm embracing it ALL at once.

I seriously don't know what's going on. Still trying to figure out. But i guess my time is up. I have to learn to move on. It might take forever, but i'm willing to take any possibilities there are. I don't mind walking around with the scars. That's who i really am..

I have to be honest, i cant stop thinking of what i've done wrong. Have i ever hurt a person like i'm being hurt now? If i ever did, i don't think i'd be able to forgive myself. How could i be so COLD HEARTED and CRUEL? I don't even dare to think about it. It'll hurt me more. I just hope, i wont ever have to play that part
anymore.

I know we only look at what we wanna see.. Listen to only what we wanna hear till we tend to forget what else is important. Shutting out the rest of the world. Curse me for being that person.

To Shelley, i think u're right. Maybe Allah is preparing me for something better. I hope so. If this is what it takes for me to learn to be stronger, then i'll walk on this path. Be good or bad..

To Mas Baizura, u really amaze me. I didn't know u once led this path. Believe me, if i did, i would've been there with u all along. I'm sorry i didn't. I was too busy being selfish. Maybe u're right. This is not what i deserve, but it's more like a lesson i shall learn. Something i SHALL NOT DO to others. I think u're right. Maybe I haven't tried hard enough. Thank u for making me see things from different views. Somehow i feel like u're the missing puzzle. Let start with our dance class soon, shall we?

To Alfie, ur words were harsh. But i know u were trying to make me feel better and most important, being brutally honest. I'm thankful to have met someone like u. Maybe this is not bad after all. Thank u for being there.

Adam, this is something u should learn. Hehe.. i'm not trying to scare u. But please.. think about the consequences. And thank u for being such a GREAT friend.

Baizura Sabri, i should've listened to u. U were right all along. I created an opportunity for this mess. If there's a one person who should keep me on the ground, it's u.

Putra, i know u hate me for being this way. I can't thank u enough. U're being such a good friend. Checking on me every single day..and i'm so thankful for u.

Aryana, i wonder how could a girl as young as u are could offer such advice.

Enji n Alin, thank u for being good listeners. Jom karok!

Abg Mike, pray for me. U're being such a good big  brother. It's good to know that u're around to keep me on the ground.

To everyone else who was being there all along, (still being there) i swear i cant thank u enough. My prayers are always with u.

To myself..this is the time for repentance. I pray for the courage to grow and the faith to know that this will eventually be turned to a good thing after all..

7 Hit(s):

'D' said...

u dah kurus sgt eme...dont let sumone else get the better of you...;-D...smile...coz there's so many people who loves you....

amie said...

:))
D,,i leleb emeeeee..
hueeee

Qen said...

D: tq. i wish this is so easy at it seems.. :)

Amie: hihik

amie said...

wahh..
qenit sukeee yahh???
kekekk

tapi aku kan syg sume mod..
korang kan salu je teman hari hari sepi kuuu..
hauhuahua

Baizura Gojes said...

mcm tulis surat wasiat. takut pulak aku baca. huahuahua.

rasa sedih, itu normal. tapi kalau keep on sedih lama2 sangat, itu orang gila. jgn layan perasaan.

meh bet ngan aku, lepas 2-3 bln nanti or lepas ko totally move on, ko akan rasa menyesal dan bodoh sebab ko biarkan diri ko rasa mcm ni. ko akan rasa malu utk ingat balik semua ni. aku la org pertama yg akan ejek ko nanti. hahaha

Qen said...

Jura: ampeh la ko.. ko gelak kat aku, ape ko dpt?

Anonymous said...

wow..baizura gojes?dah lama x nampak u...rindu arr nak bergosips2...ekekeke..